Till death do us part may not have worked out in your marriage but your children still depend on you to be them for them as a dad and as a father and provider.Coming back to the dating world after a marriage fails can be one of two things: depressing or exciting.Far too many fathers seem to think divorce means freedom from parenting and responsibilities but that simply can’t be the case.Moving on with your life is fine and often required to heal from the ending of your relationship, but don’t leave your children behind.The biggest mistake you can make is to try to find another husband or wife soon after your divorce.I’m instantly reminded of my advice to one celebrity, Kim Kardashian, when I read aloud an open letter to her on television’s “Showbiz Tonight.” Before the divorce to her husband had been finalized, she was already discussing whether she was going to marry Kanye West! After a divorce, you should take the issue of marriage off the table entirely.Of course, the newness didn’t take long to wear off and my date night excitement turned into fear and loathing. My days and nights alone turned from exciting to lonely.I threw myself into my job, picked up a few new hobbies – mountain biking, writing and my website, just to name a few.
First, never let yourself feel self-conscious about being divorced. Our society can be a tad judgmental when it comes to divorce, as if it is a sign of failure or weakness. Two people start a marriage with the best of intentions but – let’s be honest – making a marriage last over a lifetime is really, really hard.
One of the things I struggled with the most after my divorce and subsequent single parent status was trying to maintain a work-life balance for my son and myself.
It’s so easy to get caught up in one aspect of your life as your priorities change.
Their life eventually balances out and we start to hear from them again. In the beginning, I couldn’t wait for my Friday or Saturday night date night.
But often for the first few months, they’re entirely wrapped up in the relationship. My relationship (marriage in my case) ended and I found myself suddenly living on my own, only having my son part-time and with quite a bit of idle time on my hands. I never scheduled dates during my time with my son, but being in a co-parenting situation allowed me to do this without many of the challenges solo parents experience.I enjoyed being single, having some freedom and the solitude and quiet of being alone. Being single was like a shiny new toy; the problem is that it only stays shiny for a short amount of time.